FORMAT: Introduction:
i want the introduction to focus on overall aspect of industrial revolution and problems created by it, then talk then address the main issue at then end through the thesis: for example:
socialism was the most effective response the address the problems because of …..
CUSTOMIZE CONTENT: basically after reading the paper i have found couple of errors:
1-this sentence ” The second industrial revolution created rapid expansion in the economy” has been continuously used in couple of parts while i want the main focus to be addressing the issues through one of the subjects.. labor unions, socialism and progressivism. (I dont want to say what second industrial revolution did , and i believe that belongs to my introduction and i want the bodies to focus on the main points which are addressing the problems created by IR)
2-after discussing about the material with the instructor he said that first i need to have an overview about Labor Union and progressivism and mention that each of them tried to do for example this or that but they failed ( more like a counter argument).eventually, being socialism to prove that it could address the issues and those must be my points in individual paragraphs to support the argument.
( In other words, since you have chosen socialism as a valid proof to support it , progerssivism and labor union should play a counter argument role and show their failure.
3- The other thing was that he said ( my instructor) that instead of having large paragraphs you can have smaller ones to address each points.
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